Right then. What does everyone think of the first 4 games? I'm looking at 10 points from 12.
We'll do West Ham, Wigan will be beaten at a JJB swamped with Wolves fans. Then there's Man City. Hmm, don't fancy that so I'll go for a draw. And finally, Hull City and that tit Phil Brown.
I sincerely hope its us singing songs to him with delight, in a mock response to his irksome sing song last season. Pillock. I'd love it if we beat them, and we will! So that's 10 nice points. Europe beckons.
Seriously, I'd be happy with 7 points, but I'm sure its not just my mind that works in such cheerful ways. Hope has always sprung eternal at this time of year, so I'm positvely buzzing as CocaCola champions! I'm sure there's footie fans at every other club up and down the land thinking "why not, lets piss it." Why not indeed!
I am still concerned with our centre half situation. The fact we pursued Dann was encouraging, in so much as it showed Mick was looking at this area. And still early days in the transfer market.
Speaking of which, the slap head Hahnemann has signed. Not too unhappy with that. I'd wager that he will be between the sticks come August as well, despite all the talk of 'squad signing.'
Anyone else raise an eyebrow at him being described as 6ft 3in?! He barely towers over Jez, so I don't think that can be true? He always looked short in goalkeeper terms to me (of a Jimmy Walker ilk). Mind you, the club did also say Stefan Postma was 6ft 6in, which was quite laughably incorrect. Were we to sign Peter Crouch, we would have bagged Pompey's 8ft 10in hitman, surely?!
Been doing a bit of gardening of late, a potential new hobby. I was looking at plants the other day, and likening them to some of our players.
Kites is an azalea...blossoms beautifully and catches the eye (as well as cheap!); Henry is a clematis. He covers shit loads of ground, and is very effective; Jarvis is a busy Lizzie - a mental little thing that impresses for long periods.
Matty Murray is my rose. When he blooms he's quite jaw droppingly amazing, but prone to illness, needs lots of attention and can't be relied on for results.
Anyway, I'm off to watch an 'insightful documentary' on ITV about freak 8ft tall teenagers (or 15ft if they signed for the Wolves).
Speak again over the weekend. All comments welcome!
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That must make you emeralds rose mate, from hat trick hero to darren anderton in the space of weeks. Here's hoping you both stay off the treatment table next year.
ReplyDeleteThe fixtures have been relatively kind early on but that also means we'll have to hit the ground running as we can't afford to take too long to adjust because we'll end up missing out on winnable games.
Am liking the flower analogies!! Anyone any other ideas for Emerald players? Ben, you got done a kipper there mate!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah was happy with the way the fixtures came out yesterday. First game against any of 'the big 4' isn’t until Nov 4th so hope we can get a few points on the board before then. A good start will make a massive difference. Took us until October last time to get that first win!!! And that was with potentially easy games to start with against Blackburn, Charlton, Southampton, Bolton and Portsmouth. We did play Man Utd and Chelsea in that time though!!
Oh and careful what you say about slapheads!!! All the best teams have one so think it was important to us staying up next year to sign one!! Personally don’t think we have been the same since Alex Rae left so good work Mick!!! Get a couple more in I say.
My Dad would agree with you on that one mate. He is a firm advocate of slap heads, and will doubtless remind me that I have no chance of keeping my thinning barnet as it is, so I'm on a sticky wicket! You're not bald anyway mate, you just choose to keep it really really short, just like Dad. Hmm.
ReplyDeleteMy top 5 slapheads:
1: Chris Phillips
2: Alex Rae
3: Geoff Boycott (not out and out, but v thin)
4: Keith Wood
5: Ross Stokes
haha!! Like it mate. Mine would have to be:
ReplyDelete1.Kojak
2.Duncan Goodhew
3.That fella from the Hamlet adverts smoking a cigar in the photo booth
4.Jane Goody
5.Ross Stokes
The words 'ice' and 'thin' spring to mind. Here's why -
ReplyDelete1) My great-grandfather
2) My grandfather
3) My dad
4) Me
5) Watch this space.......
Point taken about the hair Dad. Also might want to throw in Grandpa. But I'm chilled. It will just make me more streamlined, virile and highly sexed, so bring on the slap slap slappy brigade.
ReplyDelete1) Ainsley Harriet
ReplyDelete2) Dion Dublin
3) Alf Garnett
4) Humpty Dumpty
5) Stuckie
On the emerald flower front i think titley makes an impressive pansy.
ReplyDeleteI'm obviously ivy interweaving the infrastructure of the club.
Pete is the shy retiring wallflower.
I FUCKING NEW IT WAS YOU PHILLIPS YOU BIG LEFT BREAST!!!!
ReplyDeleteWinding me up on here with the warm blanket of anominity to hide behined, we you sliped up didn't you??? Edward Millson gets all defensive about slap heads!!!
Oh, and I want my iPod speakers back!!!!
Great list of bald people guys, but I would put Ross Stokes highr than 5th
ReplyDeleteI was thinking exactly the same as you Ben, more than expecting 15pts from the first 7-8 games and Hamme......Henner....that new yank keeper will end up our number 1 before the season is out.
Thanks Dave for my flower, but I bet it was you couldn't find a flower discribed as loud and in love with it's self so I will wait for some Pete Burdis flowers to come.
MY BALD TOP TEN ARE:
ReplyDelete1) POPEYE
2) GAIL PORTER
3) LEX LUTHOR
4) ROSS STOKES
5) YULE BRENNER
6) HOMMER SIMPSON
7) PATRICK STEWART (PICARD FROM STAR TREK)
8) GANDI
9) THE DALI LAHMA
10)BRITNEY SPEARS
Hmmm!! Lets think about it! Someone was out to disagree with whatever you said and you didn't think it was me!! I'm disappointed in you mate!! Thought it was pretty obvious myself!!
ReplyDeleteMate loving Yule Brenner in your top ten
"How about I draw a line down the middle of your head so it looks like a butt"
Oh and Britney Spears was never a real baldie. Just part of a long list of wannabies!!!! Can't help it if everyone wants to be like us
ReplyDeleteMr Smallman, I'm truly honoured to get a mention on your blog, your writing never fails to impress. Thought I'd better come on and add my top 5 baldies
ReplyDelete1. Grant Mitchell
2. Patrick Viera
3. My next door neighbour (think his names Mike)
4. Stewart Cink
5. Ross Stokes
Thought it'd be only fair to get my own back, so in your honour Ben, here's my top five injury prone players
1. Gazza
2. Rosisky
3. Ben Harvey
4. Stephen Hawking
5. Ben Smallman